Recently I met up with a man I’d spanked before who wanted me to spank him again, and who also wanted to practice his topping. Fine by me. I invited him over, and we talked, and then I spanked him.

We took a short break after that, and then he spanked me.

The last couple of times I’ve been spanked, I wanted to take more than I did. I wanted to have bruises, and I wanted to be sore for days, like when Miss Camomile spanked me. But during this scene with this gentleman, I found myself experiencing more pain than I expected to. Maybe he just spanked differently, or maybe I wasn’t in the right frame of mind; I don’t know. All I do know is that I wanted to take more than I did, but I don’t think I could have taken much more without going from “happy pain” to “unhappy pain”.

Frenzy is a very real thing, and it can hit at any time. I’ve been doing spanking play for a lot of years, and I still try to bite off more than I can chew. I’m not sure if this gentleman knew that, or if he’d just gotten to the point where he was like “I’m happy with my work and am going to stop now”, or whatever, but I know that, in general, I want to take more than I can.

I guess I just have to accept that sometimes I’ll see (or want) things that just aren’t safe for me, and I’ll have to trust the tops I bottom to to make that determination when I can’t, just like I do the same for bottoms sometimes.