Reading about bad sex

Back in 2008, Laurell K. Hamilton wrote on her blog (the link is dead now or I’d link to it for you) asking why people would want to read about bad sex. In my Facebook memories recently, the following note came up, which was my response to that post:

Well, I for one think it makes it more realistic. One of the things I’ve grown tired of with fiction is the gratuitous, formulaic, always awesome sex. Real sex? Sometimes it’s not so great. One partner doesn’t get what they want, or the guy achieves orgasm before his partner is ready, or it hurts, or it doesn’t hurt enough… could be anything.

Why do I write about real sex when I write about sex? Because I think it makes the stories more realistic and relatable — even when I’m writing fantasy or erotica.

In thinking about the last person I had intercourse with, what I take away from it was that:

  1. It was awesome.
  2. It felt amazing.
  3. I almost stretched her legs farther than was comfortable.
  4. I came sooner than I wanted to.

Real sex isn’t perfect. But it can be great even when it’s not perfect. I would say that, for a first time with a new partner, it was pretty extraordinary.