Recently at work, one of my team members was promoted so he is now a peer instead of a subordinate. This was a well-deserved promotion and I am not writing to complain about it in any way. I just happened to notice something interesting.

This team member-cum-peer was highly technical, and I depended on him for a lot of knowledge and for assessing the technical abilities of the rest of the team (he was one of our technical experts, whereas the rest of the team is engineers). I always felt like he was a little… I don’t know… not that he looked down on me for not having technical knowledge, and he was always respectful, but I think he thought maybe I shouldn’t have been in my role because I had never done his role before and therefore couldn’t fill in or do any of the work my engineers do. I wouldn’t ever say anything like this to him, because it’s probably just my own impostor syndrome at work, but that’s how I felt.

Well, now that my new peer is in management, and this is his first time as a manager in any role, I feel like he might be in my situation. He frequently comes to me with questions about how to do specific management-related things, and I know (because we sit next to each other) that he’s definitely asking me before he asks anyone else. Which is totally fine; I’m more than happy to share my knowledge and help him be the best manager he can be. Sometimes, though, when he comes to me with questions, he has this look on his face (which I’m sure I’ve had before) that says “I should know how to do this and I feel inadequate because I don’t.” Whenever someone comes to me asking for help I always do my best to be collaborative and not make them feel like they’re doing something wrong, and I’m sure I’m doing that with this new manager. Of course I can’t control how other people feel; I can only influence them in the best way I know how.

I really do like being a people manager. My favorite thing about my job is working with my team to help them solve their problems and advance their careers. I just wish that those soft skills were easier to quantify on a resume because I bet if I could do that I’d have gotten a new job long before I got a new boss.