My new book, In Her Hands, comes out on Friday! Pre-order it now!
Recently I came across this episode of The Devil’s Panties:
This is something I try to put into my writing — that sex, when done right, isn’t perfect. Bodies make weird noises and end up in weird positions. Things get strange and funny. People like unconventional things (like my friend who is into clowns).
But here’s the thing: even “imperfect” sex can be sexy. Rarely do I have “perfect” sex when I’m having sex with someone; one of us gets tired, or can’t breathe (due to medical issues), or something hurts in an unwanted way, or someone can’t achieve orgasm when they want to, or there’s a giant wet spot, or… well, you get the idea. That doesn’t mean the sex was bad; frequently, it’s rather great.
I mean, it can be bad too; I’m reminded of a woman I was having sex with when I was 18, and I realized I was too close to orgasm and she hadn’t reached hers yet. I panicked and adjusted, and decided to just say that I had a cramp and couldn’t continue. She was disappointed, and although she didn’t kick me out of bed, that was the last time we had sex. I should’ve just been honest and, after my orgasm, guaranteed that she had (at least) one as well. I was disappointed too; the first time we’d been together had been somewhat above-average, but the second had been phenomenal, and I’d been looking to recreate that experience. I haven’t heard from her in more than 25 years, and I honestly don’t remember her last name so I can’t even look her up online to apologize for my immaturity.
Accept that sex isn’t going to be perfect, no matter what you do. Once you’ve relaxed and acknowledged this fundamental truth, the pressure comes off and you can truly enjoy yourself.
Oh, and one other thing — this dude in the comic is intimating that he wants a copy of the porn for free, and in exchange he’ll review it. Don’t do that. Artists make art for the sake of making art, but they should be paid for it. If you want to review someone’s work, review it, but don’t expect to not have to pay for it. Sure, some people do ARCs or give away free copies, but for the most part you need to buy the work before you can truly talk about it.
