Frolicon just ended, and I’m sure there were many more gangbangs than I was aware of. Given how many people go, and how many people get STI tests done beforehand (like me!), it’s not a surprise that people use the event as a way to fulfill that desire — either giving or receiving.

One of my Fetlife friends — someone I met on a dating app, chatted with, but never actually met in person — had a gangbang. In the week before Frolicon, while I was planning out my schedule, I mentioned it to one of my partners in a joking way, and she asked me something to the effect of “why don’t you do it?”

Honestly? Because I don’t have a need.

Look, I like sex. A lot. My partners will tell you that when we’re having sex I put everything I have into making it as good as possible for both of us. I’m sure that, if I had shown up at that gangbang and fucked that Fetlife friend (who is curvy and sexy, I might add), I would have enjoyed every second of it.

But did I need to fuck her? No. Did I need to fuck her in a situation where there’s a bunch of other dudes around, watching, waiting their turn? No. Do I have any problem with this Fetlife friend wanting a gangbang? Hell no; it’s her body and if she wants to fuck a lot of people then she should do exactly what she wants to do.

For me personally, though, I don’t have a burning desire to join a gangbang. Hell, I’ve never even had a threesome; I feel like you should walk before you run.

If you want to have a gangbang, or participate in one, go ahead. I’ll abstain.