Some folks deride non-kinky people as “vanilla”, meaning that they are plain or boring. But lest we forget, vanilla is a flavor all its own, and in many baked goods you don’t get the right flavor unless you use some.

I’m kinky. If you’ve been reading this blog (or my books) for any length of time, you know this. But just because I’m kinky it doesn’t mean I don’t also like vanilla sex. Sometimes, with some partners, I won’t do anything kinky at all when we’re together; we’ll just have vanilla sex. (By “vanilla sex” I mean both partners receive oral, and then we have PIV intercourse, usually in missionary and/or woman-on-top.) And it feels great.

Kinky stuff is great too; I love spanking someone, or hurting someone (consensually), or dominating someone. But I don’t need those things to be sexually satisfied. I can be satisfied just having vanilla sex.

I don’t want vanilla all the time, but it is an important flavor, and it’s a flavor all its own. Don’t forget that when you’re thinking about the kinky things you want to do with your partners.