When I first started writing erotica, way back in the days of yore, I used to focus on measurements and sizes because I thought it would be good for readers to know exactly how big my characters’ assets and attributes were. These days I do still talk about height, but that’s about it. I’ll rarely mention an exact penis size, and I don’t think I’ve mentioned a breast, waist, or hip measurement in the past five years.

Why? Because it’s not necessary.

Does it matter how big my characters’ penises are? Only if it’s important to the story. In Training the Trainer, one character is more endowed than another, but my POV character, Grace, only notes that he’s bigger, not how much bigger. In Detective Daddy and the Yellow Rose of Texas, again there’s mention of size, but not exact size.

The same goes for breasts, waists, and hips. It’s easy to talk about how curvy someone is, and even if they have a tummy, without saying “she was 40DD-30-40.” Nowhere in Training the Trainer do I mention Grace’s body size, only her shape. Nowhere in my sorority girl story do I mention Kristen’s measurements; I only note that she is relatively slender, but has hips. Nowhere in the Lizzie stories do I talk about how curvy she is, nor mention her exact weight; I only say that she is both curvy and thick.

It’s just not necessary to get more specific than that.

Another reason I don’t talk size is because if you aren’t specific about sizes then your readers can more easily imagine themselves in the story. In Lessons, Eleanora is tall and curvy, with largish breasts and a bit of a tummy. But how large are they? How much of a tummy does she have? That’s up to the reader. Sure, there’s a picture on the cover that you can use as a reference, but even that picture is just an approximation of what Eleanora looks like in my head (mostly because Eleanora is based on a real person). If you’re reading the story, you can imagine yourself in her place and just ignore the picture on the cover. I never say what her measurements are, or her exact height. I communicate that information in other ways.

For my male readers, I know that everyone’s penis is a different size and shape. Without getting into detail about my personal appearance, I can tell you that I have seen penises both larger and smaller than my own. If I make a character in a story have “a 7-inch-long penis with a thickness of 1.5 inches”, male readers might feel left out if they’re smaller than that. But if I talk about the effect the other characters have on it, how hard my male character feels, how good it is when he finally fucks the object of his affection, it doesn’t matter how big he is, and it doesn’t matter how big the reader is. The reader could have a five-inch penis or an eight-inch penis and still identify with my male character. It’s not about size; it’s about how it feels.

When I first started reading erotica, a lot of it focused on exact measurements, so that was what I wrote as well. But as I grew as a writer, I realized that that doesn’t matter. As long as you write descriptively, you can get the message across and give your readers an approximation of body size and shape that allows them to use their imaginations and fantasize even better.

Of course, I know exactly what size everyone in every story is. But that’s just because I’m the writer, and it’s my job to know. Just because I know, though, doesn’t mean I’m going to share it. I mean, how many of your friends’ exact bra sizes or exact penis sizes do you know? I’m guessing not that many. And besides, once you’re both naked, does it really matter?

I didn’t think so.