A parasocial relationship is one where a person thinks they’re in a relationship with a famous figure. This is generally harmless, but sometimes it can lead to stalking or even physically attacking the figure. 

I see how easy it can be to fall into one of these. I go on Reddit every day for a few minutes, mostly to look at pictures of dogs. Sprinkled in my feed are also pictures of butts. And, because the Reddit algorithm wants me to stay in the app so I look at more ads, it gives me posts that it thinks I might like. 

Lately it’s given me posts of a specific Reddit user, a woman, who enjoys showing her breasts on the internet. She has an Onlyfans, which, well, whatever, but she also posts a lot of content on Reddit — and not just of her breasts. Occasionally there is a photo of her giving head or receiving a facial. Sometimes there are photos of her butt, which I suppose is how she found her way to my algorithm in the first place. 

I don’t have a parasocial relationship with this woman. I know nothing about her except what she looks like and a couple of details that may or may not be made up to get people to click on her links. But I feel like it’s now a part of my day to see her in a state of undress. It’s about as much of a relationship as the one I have with the older dude who arrives at work the same time I do every day and makes his breakfast in the mini-breakroom near my desk: I know what he looks like, and a few details, like his arrival time and, occasionally, what he has for breakfast (because I can smell it).

However, just like I could befriend this dude at work, I could engage in more of a relationship with the woman in question. I could join her Onlyfans, interact with her on Twitter, or comment on her posts. I’m not going to do that, but some people do, and I’m sure more than one of them has a parasocial relationship with her — which is kind of how a lot of Onlyfans models make their money: they build relationships with their subscribers so the subscribers feel important, feel like they have to keep up their end of the relationship. And I’m sure there are plenty of Onlyfans models who actually do enjoy these relationships. Maybe the woman in question is one of them; maybe she isn’t. I’ll never know. 

But just like I see the older dude at work every day, and it’s become a part of my day, so too has seeing this woman on Reddit at least once a day. Would my world end if I didn’t see her? No, of course not. But it’s almost like going on Instagram and seeing what Smuckers, Knight, and Opie (pitbulls I follow) are up to every day. I don’t have parasocial relationships with those dogs, either. 

Though, if the opportunity to pet them came along, I certainly would do that.