Yesterday I talked about parasocial relationships. Sometimes, they do happen entirely by accident. I can think of two in my own life.
The first is with a folk musician who I started following on YouTube in 2010. I enjoyed her covers, and when she came out with original albums I bought them to support her. I have seen her in person three times, all at living room shows, and the third time she remembered who I was, which was cool. I haven’t seen her in over a decade, and I’m sure she’s forgotten me, but I still support her on Patreon and buy her albums when they come out.
The second is with an author who I first met when they were doing media reviews on their website, before they had ever published a book. I joined the community and interacted with other users, and even purchased reviews of my own (the business model was: the person would be doing the reviews anyway, but you could “buy” one to help support them for anywhere from $10 to $20, depending on the media type). I met this author when they came to Atlanta (before they had published anything) and when I introduced myself they knew who I was and they remembered a little about me based on what I’d posted on their website. As before, I’m sure this author doesn’t remember me (it’s been I believe twelve or thirteen years since I met them in person), but I still support them and buy their books because they’re quite a good author.
Are these parasocial relationships in their truest form? I would say yes and no; yes, in that I felt for a while that I had a relationship with these people, and no, because I was aware they were famous figures and not actually part of my daily life. I never fantasized about being part of their lives on a regular basis, and I certainly never acted on the fantasies I didn’t have. Would it be awesome to be their friend? Sure! I would love to hang out with them. But I’m not going to.
I guess in a way whenever you “get to know” a famous figure by the information they post publicly you form a parasocial relationship with them. I know a hell of a lot about Chuck Tingle, and I’ve seen him in person before, but we’re not in an actual friendship (except inasmuch as Chuck is friends with all true buckaroos). Chuck posts fairly regularly, and it’s easy to get to know him. I’m sure there are plenty of people who do have true parasocial relationships with him.
The thing is: you have to know where to draw the line. People who don’t… they’re the ones who can spoil it for everyone.
Don’t spoil this for me.
