While I’m not one of those guys who says “I can fuck for hours without coming”, I’m also not quick on the trigger. I like to think my partners are satisfied with my stamina.

However, apparently some women are turned on when men come quickly. As RealVeronicaBale said on Fetlife recently:

Cumming super fast- I take it as a compliment and I’ll smile the whole time

I can see her point — if a woman (or a man, but for the purposes of this article I’m keeping things heteronormative) is so sexy, or so good at sexual activity, that her partner comes super-fast, she might very well feel complimented, especially if her needs were met beforehand.

However, from the point of view of the man — and being a man who, at times in my life, was a little too quick to come — it can be extremely frustrating. Even if we’ve made sure our partners have been sexually satisfied before we focus on our own satisfaction, the fact that we don’t last a very long time sometimes leaves an unpleasant taste in our mouths (so to speak). Sex feels fucking awesome, and while I don’t need it to last an hour or more, I like to have a good time for at least a few minutes before I reach orgasm.

One of my exes used to revel in the fact that she could get me off with her mouth in two minutes. Yeah, the blowjobs were great, but it was only two minutes of pleasure. I like more than that; I like to lie there (or sit there, or stand there) and enjoy the sensations of a good blowjob. I like feeling the different techniques my partners use at different times throughout. And yes, I do like coming from oral sex. I just don’t want it to happen in two minutes.

So if you’re one of those people who considers a man coming quickly a compliment, that’s totally fine, but please try to see it from our point of view as well: we’re having a great time, but we probably want that great time to last a reasonable number of minutes. To us, two minutes isn’t usually enough.