Way back in college, I met a girl in my Speech 1600 Honors class who became one of my dearest friends all throughout those years and beyond. We drifted apart a bit when I moved to Georgia twenty years ago, but we’ve still seen each other a few times over the years. She is on the hit list; I gave her a birthday spanking in (I believe) 2000.

Said friend recently rejoined Fetlife, or at least reactivated her account, and she friended me. She’s a sub, and she’s sexy, and she’s smart, and I would love to play with her again — for real this time, instead of just a small number of swats with my hand on her jeans. I wasn’t planning to immediately ask, but the next time I drive down to Florida, I can contrive to pass by her house. I mean, even if we don’t play, I’d love to see her, but I definitely would like to spank her too.

I gave her my phone number and told her she could text me instead of messaging me on Fetlife, and she said something to the effect of “True, but now I’m connected to an OG on Fetlife. A big brother, if you will.”

I checked her profile; she wasn’t linked to anyone. Was she calling me a big brother? I’m only six months older than she is, and yes, I’m also eight inches taller but still. That kind of took the wind out of my sails a bit.

Which isn’t to say I can’t still spank her; I have a “little sister” in Virginia who I have spanked on a few occasions. Nothing sexual — our dynamic precludes that, and anyway she’s gay — but spankings occurred.

Does my friend calling me a big brother mean I can’t flirt with her anymore? Would that make it weird? I’m talking about a woman with whom I’ve done roleplay cybersex before, a woman who knows about my proclivities, a woman who once called me on a Saturday afternoon, out of the blue, to tell me she was doing housework wearing lingerie and heels and it was turning her on immensely. Is that something you tell someone you consider a big brother? Maybe in the kink community, I suppose.

I guess I’ll hold off for a bit, see how the discussion goes. If she flirts with me, I’ll flirt back. If she suggests we play, I’ll be on board. But if we’re just platonic close friends for now, I’m good with that too.