…that will tell you how sexually adventurous you are. Supposedly. I found this on Fetlife and figured I’d do it here. You should do it too, if you’re so inclined. But before you do, please consider pre-ordering my latest book, Holiday Heat: April, which comes out next Monday.

• Have you ever had sex in the backseat of a car?
Yes. My first time was in the backseat of my 1992 Mazda 626. It was big enough, I suppose.

• Have you ever sexted while at work?
Yes.

• Have you ever had sex while your parents (or roommates) were in the next room?
In the next room? Try “in the room below while I’m in the loft”, which I did with my HS girlfriend when her family brought me along on a trip to their beach house.

• Have you ever used handcuffs?
Yeah, but it’s really not my thing.

• Have you ever masturbated in front of your partner?
Yes.

• Have you ever been choked during sex?
No, but I have been the giver of breath play in the past.

• Have you ever worn lingerie?
Negatory, good buddy.

• Have you ever sent any nude photos?
Yes, although I’m not a huge fan of doing it. I prefer to send videos.

• Have you ever had a friend with benefits?
Yes. We met on Fetlife, and the first time we were together I went down on her until she came. She started to get up, and I asked her where exactly she thought she was going. Twelve orgasms later…

• Have you ever tried anal?
Yes. I’m a fan. Giving and receiving.

• Have you ever gotten an injury from rough sex?
No.

• Have you ever had sex outdoors?
Not penetrative sex, but I’ve given partners orgasms outdoors.

• Have you ever watched porn with someone?
Yes. It was something my first wife discovered that she enjoyed, but it had to be a specific type of porn, and because of the negative associations with her I stopped enjoying it for a while.

• Have you ever kissed multiple people in one night?
Yes. I’ve had threesomes and one foursome, and kissing occurred.

• Have you ever done a walk of shame?
No. I’m not ashamed of sex.

• Have you ever filmed yourself having sex?
Yes. I sometimes rewatch the videos while edging.

• Have you ever given (or gotten) a lap dance?
Received, yes. It was… meh.

• Have you ever had sex with someone when you didn’t know their name?
No. I like to know the people I’m fucking.

• Have you ever had sex in a bathroom stall?
No. Ew.

• Have you ever played strip poker?
No, but one of my first erotica stories (which will never see the light of day) was about a strip poker game that ended in a spanking.

• Have you ever had shower sex?
I’ve tried. Oral usually works better than penetrative. I’ve spanked people in the shower before, though.

• Have you ever tasted yourself?
No.

• Have you ever used a blindfold?
Yes, on other people.

• Have you ever spanked someone?
Um… yes.

• Have you ever role played?
I have. It’s not my favorite thing but I’ll do it if the other person wants me to.

• Have you ever gone out without wearing underwear?
Yes, but not for a sexy reason.

• Have you ever had a quickie?
Yes, although exactly how long is a quickie?

• Have you ever worn a ball gag?
No. I don’t like being gagged.

• Have you ever had a one-night stand?
Yes, and I still kind of regret it. She consented but she didn’t seem to enjoy herself very much.

• Have you ever talked dirty?
It happens sometimes.

• Have you ever used a strap-on?
No, but I’ve had them used on me.

• Have you ever had a threesome?
Yes. They’re fun.

• Have you ever had phone sex?
Oh yes, way back in the pre-internet days, with my BBS friends.

• Have you ever had sex in front of an audience?
Yes.

• Have you ever used a vibrator (with or without a partner)?
Yes, often.

• Have you ever worn a butt plug?
Yes, but only for testing purposes. I’m usually the inserter, not the insertee.

• Have you ever used a sex swing?
I’d always be afraid it would break.

• Have you ever had sex in a classroom or office?
Does my home office count?

• Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Yes. It was fine. Not something I’d care to repeat.

• Have you ever gotten your hair pulled?
I have a shaved head, so no.

• Have you ever been pinned down?
Yes.

• Have you ever had sex while drunk?
I don’t think so.

• Have you ever had sex while high?
No.

• Have you ever orgasmed five times in one day?
No. I think three is my limit per day these days.

• Morning sex?
Always good.

• Have you ever eaten food off of your lover’s naked body?
I used chocolate body paint on my first wife, if that counts.

• Have you ever used hot wax?
Yes. It’s not my favorite thing, but I do have a wax kit in my closet for partners who are into it.

• Have you ever worn crotchless underwear?
No.

• Have you ever had sex on the floor?
Yes. My bed is noisy and sometimes we want to have sex while my kid is home, so we use the floor. It’s not ideal but it does work.

• Have you ever had sex in front of a mirror?
Actually, I don’t think I have.