I was on Twitter recently and Fesshole posted the following confession:

My wife has started hinting she’d be up for a FFM threesome, she’s puzzled why I’m not leaping at the chance, truth is I think there’s a catch somewhere, I can’t get it out of my head that it’s either a fidelity trap or she’s going to ask for a MMF threesome in return.

I have thoughts.

First of all: having recently had my first ever FFM threesome, I can confidently say that if you like the people you’re with and everyone is willing to do things with everyone else then you’re going to have a great time. But secondly, and more importantly, and this one’s for the guy’s wife: threesomes should not be used as tricks or traps. If you think your husband is not fidelitous, either confront him, leave him, or wonder in silence. But don’t try to trick him. That’s some bullshit. (And that goes for men who try to trick women, too.) So much relationship strife could be avoided if people just talked to each other.

As for the other thing — there’s a difference between MMF and MFM. If she’s looking for MFM, you should at least entertain the possibility. I mean, you want to be attended to by two women at the same time; why shouldn’t she want to be attended to by two men? Now, if it’s a true MMF, that may be different; if you’re not attracted to men, you probably don’t want to do one of those. In a MMF, the two men are expected to do stuff together; in a MFM it’s optional.

I’ve only ever had one threesome, as I said. However, I’m not opposed to the idea of MFM. I think a lot of men are afraid that the other guy will have a bigger or better penis than them, or that the woman will like the other guy better, or that he’ll be better in bed. But if you’re in a relationship with the F in the scenario, then you just have to remember: she’s with you for a reason. It’s not the size of your equipment or what you do in bed. At least, it probably isn’t. I know that I don’t have an enormous penis, and I know that there are people in the world who are “better” in bed than I am, but in different ways. I’m not threatened by my metamours. If I was in a MFM with one of them, I wouldn’t be threatened by their penises. I’d be too busy focusing on my partner.

I get it: threesomes are an attractive proposition. But they shouldn’t be used to manipulate people. Don’t try to trick your partner into a threesome; if you want one, ask outright, and if you’re asked for one, take the question in good faith. If the asker is trying to trick you, then that’s the asker’s flaw, not yours.