I’m almost 45 years old, and I spent a long time unhappy. At this point in my life, I have decided to choose things that make me happy.

I choose my partners. They make me happy, all in different ways. I choose not to date people who make me unhappy; I broke up with someone last year because she was starting to remind me of my ex-wife and no amount of sex or spanking can overcome that.

I choose to spend my free time with kinky people. I go to a lot of munches (at least five every month). Most of my nights out are either with kinky people or at kinky events. Kink makes me happy; being around kinky people makes me feel accepted in a way non-kinky people just can’t touch.

I choose to spend my money on furthering my kink and spanking adventures. I go to spanking parties and kink events, even though each one ends up costing close to $1000 (or more) when you add up hotel, travel, ticket, and food prices.

This post was mostly inspired by a friend in the kink community. He’s well-dressed, dapper, has a ton of rope and toys and other implements… and a car that’s more than 25 years old and falling apart. It still runs reliably, and he would rather spend his money on kink and clothes, which makes him happy. I’m sure if his car dies he’ll get a new one, but why spend the money on that when he can spend it on things that make him happy? He’s my primary inspiration for not getting a new car — I really want an electric car, and I only have about 10 months of payments left on my current vehicle (a hybrid), but do I really want to take the money I usually spend on spanking parties and kink events and put it toward an astronomical car payment? Would that make me happy?

No.

Well, okay, the car would make me happy. But the payments would not. So every time I go on Autotrader and look at the specific electric cars that I want, I remember my friend with his old, busted car and how happy he is by not spending money on a new one.

I’m choosing the things that make me happy.

And I’m finding that it makes all the difference.