Spanking Musical Chairs

Did you know you can play a version of musical chairs that involves spanking? Because I did not, until Oasis.

Here’s how:

First, you get an almost-equal number of tops and bottoms together — you need one more bottom than top. Then you put a bunch of chairs in a circle, or back to back, or however, and all the tops sit down. Then you play some music. Or, if you’re the person who organized the game at Oasis, you spank someone in lieu of music for a period of time only you know.

Oh, and you also need “lap judges”. Two is an ideal number, but the more tops you have, the more you’ll need.

When the music (or spanking) stops, the bottoms must find a lap to sit on or throw themselves over. As with normal musical chairs, the person left without a lap is out. Then everyone gets a small number of swats (six to ten), usually over the clothes but if the bottom prefers to reveal their backside that’s their prerogative.

Where do the lap judges come in? Well, they have two jobs. First of all, if multiple people go for the same lap, it’s the lap judges’ job to determine who got there first. Secondly, they have to observe whose lap is the last to be filled. That top is also “out”, and they take their chair with them, to ensure that there is always one more bottom than top.

This is a super fun ice breaker, and it ensures that the participants get to spank or be spanked by several different people in an enjoyable, unthreatening fashion. I spanked about ten people, two of whom I already knew (not that that made it any less enjoyable), plus one gentleman who seemed to be saying “you don’t actually have to spank me.” Come on, my dude; it’s part of the game. Of course I’m going to spank you! Just because you’re a dude doesn’t mean you’re not a valid player of the game.

If there’s a drawback, it’s that you need about 20 people minimum to really make the game fun, but at a big spanking party, that’s not too hard to do.

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