I’m in my mid-40s (almost). As such, I prefer my partners to be self-sufficient, mature, and knowledgeable about their desires. That usually equates to someone close to my own age. (Both of my current partners are within two years of me.) When swiping on people in dating apps, I usually swipe left on anyone under 30 who somehow shows up despite my parameters being set to “30 and older” (because algorithms, I suppose). And when I post on Reddit looking for spanking partners, I mention that I prefer folks who are “30 to 60 years old”.

But sometimes you have to bend your own rules.

Last week I got a very polite message from someone who is 25. The fact that the message was polite in the first place encouraged me to talk to her, and as we talked, I discovered someone who is self-sufficient, mature, and knowledgeable about her desires. Yes, I’m about 20 years older than her, but just as I was more mature from ages 15-25 than most of my peers, so too does this woman appear to be. (Did I get the grammar right there?) We talked for a bit, and I think we’re both leaning toward meeting up for a spanking at some point — not necessarily a relationship of any type beyond that, but at the very least a spanking.

Some people say that age is just a number, and in general, they’re right. But also, having had experiences with folks from ages 20 through 50-something (I honestly can’t remember exactly how old the latter person was at the time — I think 52?), I’ve determined that 30-50 is the sweet spot for me; we can usually understand each other’s references, we have similar issues in our lives (I get along very well with other parents), and we are aware of what we want and what we’ll do (and not do) to get it. Of course, there are outliers, and this 25-year-old woman appears to be one of them.

I don’t know what will end up happening, ultimately. Maybe we’ll chat for a week and go our separate ways. Maybe we’ll meet up and she’ll decide I’m not the spanker for her. Maybe we’ll end up in a pattern of regular spanking sessions. Maybe there’ll be more than that. But if I didn’t bend my own rules — if I’d just said “no, thank you, but I prefer my partners to be over 30” — I’d never even have a chance to find out.

When I used to post personals more regularly, I’d always say what I was looking for and then add “but don’t self-reject if you don’t meet these criteria”. I’m glad this person took that to heart. Even if nothing ends up happening.