Find your own tribe

As I noted in yesterday’s post, there’s a local group that decided I would not be the best fit for them.

Fortunately, there’s another local group that welcomed me with open arms.

I was at a munch one time, talking about one of my books (it happened to be Weekend Plans), and an attendee invited me to her book club. She said I should bring my book with me, because everyone just talked about what they were reading, instead of everyone reading the same book and talking about it.

So, a couple of weeks later, I showed up at her house with a veggie tray (you should always bring food to someone’s house if they’re hosting a gathering, unless they specifically tell you not to) and Weekend Plans, thinking that I would talk about my book a little bit.

And I did.

And then a play party happened, right in front of my eyes.

Yeah. That’s how I felt. But not in a bad way.

I found out later that this book club was really just a cover for a play party — although the first time I went they did talk about books for like ten minutes — and that I had a permanent invitation to attend whenever I wished.

But not only did I have a permanent invitation, I also was actively included. One of the other organizers often makes it a point to sit with me and talk to me at munches, and just last week she asked me what I would like to do at the party the next time one occurred. So I told her, and she and the other organizer were actively interested in figuring out a way to make it happen. Then I told them both that I don’t really like to include myself in things, but I’m always willing to join if invited, and I think that clicked quickly for them. I’m curious to see how that plays out at the next party.

On top of all of that, I also seem to have made some friends. The original organizer invited me to a rope class at her house. There’s a dom who attends who I’ve seen several times now who is pretty cool. One of the other attendees gave me some vital feedback on the Kristen story that made it a much better novella than it was in its original form. And the last time I went the organizers helped me out by doing some rope work on the play partner I brought with me (I’m not very good with rope).

It’s said that you should “Find your tribe. Love them hard.” Well, I think I found my tribe. They gave me a chance, and they discovered that I can be a valuable member of their community. The folks I mentioned yesterday? They didn’t give me a chance — which is, of course, their prerogative — and they’ll never know what they’re missing out on.

I guess the moral of the story is: give people a chance. You might be surprised.

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