Some years ago, I started writing a story — probably a novella — called The Boss, the Mistress, the Nanny, and Her Lover. It was about a grad student working her way through school as a nanny and discovering the dad of the family cheating on the mom with another woman. Eventually, after an inexpert sting that was supposed to catch him out, she would discover that the parents are polyamorous. I’m not sure how it was going to end after that.

Also in the story, my main character meets a new man and they have lots of sex. But in order to work on this book in places I shouldn’t be, I decided to skip over the sex parts and just leave myself notes.

That plan didn’t work, and I never did finish the story. Nor did I ever fill in the blanks. But if you use your imagination…

I was still too sore to do much after dinner, but [oral sex scene here].

After, as I straddled his lap and rested my head on his shoulder — which was worth it, if a little awkward because I was taller than him — I asked him how he managed to be single if he was this perfect.

“I’m not perfect,” he said, his voice rumbling in his chest. “I just haven’t been looking.”

“I found you on Tinder,” I said. “You must have been looking for something.”

He shook his head. “I’ve had the profile up for a couple of years, and I’ve been out a few times, but I didn’t want a hook-up and everyone else seemed to.”

“Yeah, really.” I’d had my share of unfulfilling Tinder hook-ups. “I don’t know what exactly I want,” I said, “but I want to keep seeing you. Is that okay?”

He nodded. “I like you, Maria. And not just because of what you just did.” A chuckle, and I smiled against the bend of his neck as I kissed it. I didn’t think I was that great at [oral], but I’d never had any complaints. It wasn’t easy with Nathan, and I’d never [DT reference] — at least, not without a lot more practice, and maybe having my gag reflex surgically removed — but I liked doing it, and I really liked how appreciative he was.

Oh. He was still talking. I replayed the last few seconds in my head to make sure I hadn’t missed anything important. Something about me being smart and funny, I think.

“But,” he finished, “I understand if you don’t want to be exclusive.”

I sat up, my hands on his shoulders, and looked down into his dark eyes. He was completely [serious]. “Nathan, I don’t want to tie you down–“

“Good, because I’m not into that.”

He smiled, and I gave him a little shove. “I’m being serious, damn it!”

A nod. “I’m sorry.” He actually sounded it, too, not just like he was saying it because it was what I wanted to hear.

“Okay.” I took a deep breath, let it out. It was weird to be having this discussion while I was ninety-five percent naked. Of course, he was one hundred percent, and probably getting an ass-print on my couch, but now wasn’t the time to worry about that. “I have a lot going on right now.” As opening arguments went, it wasn’t bad, I think. “I have class, and work, and I have to finish this damn book, and my social life. I didn’t think I had time for a boyfriend.”

He was quiet, his hands on my thighs, fingers flexing gently. Not in a sexual way; I think he was nervous about what I was going to say. 

That made two of us.

“But I want to make time for you.”

He visibly relaxed and couldn’t help a smile. “I want to make time for you too. I work a lot, and have a life, but I want you to be in it, if you want to be in it.”

I nodded. “It’s only been a week, though. You sure you can put up with me?”

“Hey, maybe I leave the toilet seat up; you never know.”

I laughed. “Maybe I take up the entire bed when I sleep; you never know.”

“Let’s find out.”

Without warning, Nathan stood up, and I had to lock my ankles around his back, yelping in surprise. But it was fun, too, and sexy, and even sexier when he tossed me onto the bed and [oral sex scene].

When I could concentrate again, he was between my legs, [penis talk], his mouth close to mine. “Can you reach the condoms?”

“I’m on the pill,” I said, reaching down. [Penis talk], [at opening], [worries about ache and size, but okay from before].

He shook his head, despite [penis talk; throbbing]. “I had a scare once, a few years ago. My girlfriend thought I got her pregnant. I want to be careful.”

A long, silent moment, and then I nodded and scooted back until I could reach the nightstand. I passed him a condom and [watched him put it on]. [Think about sex w/o condoms.] [Back in position.] [One long, slow movement.] [Big orgasm.]

It took him a while — it was the third time that night, after all — and I knew I’d be sore for at least a day, but it was worth it to see his face every time I came for him, and to feel him surge in response. [Talk about them coming together.]

I sometimes wonder if I should’ve treated the story as contemporary fiction, instead of erotica. But that’s all in the past now. I’m pretty sure this story is never going to be finished.