I always offer aftercare after a spanking (or other) scene. I feel that it’s important to take the time to wind down, relax, and reflect. Plus, I like the cuddles a lot.
I did two scenes at Frolicon on Saturday night. The first one had some pretty extensive aftercare. The second… none at all.
I did offer. My scene partner said she would take care of it on her own.
Okay. That’s valid.
But what about me?
After the scene, I cleaned up the spanking horse we used, put away my stuff, and went back to my room, where I ate a cookie and went to bed to read.
I could really have used some cuddles.
Even though tops aren’t the ones who get beaten, or waxed, or poked, or tied up, or whatever, we still expend a lot of energy and experience a lot of endorphins. We need to come down, just as much as bottoms do.
Punishment scenes are a little different, depending on the dynamic, but even then, once they’re completely done, I still need some aftercare.
Maybe that’s why I felt so weird on Monday — I’d just spent an entire weekend at Frolicon, I did three scenes but only got aftercare for one, and then spent Sunday playing with someone else (and I did get aftercare, as did she). I’m probably dropping. But I imagine a little more aftercare would have helped.
Just something for bottoms to think about when they want to say “I’ll take care of aftercare on my own.” See what the top might need. Just in case.
(For what it’s worth, all three scenes were great fun. No complaints about any of them.)