BDSM and the famous person

The story I posted a bit of yesterday focuses on a realtor and a famous actor. (Not a real one; someone I made up.) But it makes me feel bad for famous people, in a way, because they can’t do certain things that normal people can, not without being noticed and possibly badgered, or worse.

Here’s one example: I saw a post in a group on Facebook with someone asking where Missy Elliott gets her hair done, not to stalk her, but because “I heard she lives around here and I might as well aim for the top.” Well, okay, but you have to believe that if someone goes into the shop where Missy Elliott gets her hair done and sees her there, odds are at least 50-50 that they’re going to comment on it.

Here’s another: I was flying to Chicago one time and while in the security line I saw Yasiin Bey — formerly known as Mos Def. I said, “Excuse me, are you Mos Def?” (I didn’t know he’d changed his name at the time.) He said, “I used to be.” I said, “Oh. Well, I just wanted to tell you I really enjoy your work.” And that was it. I didn’t ask for a photo, although I certainly could have, just as he would have had the right to say, “Not right now, dude.”

But getting your hair done or taking an airplane trip are easier, comparatively, than being into BDSM and wanting to join the local community. I mean, what’s going to happen when a famous person goes to a munch? Even if they have a Fetlife account that doesn’t show their face, unless they’re wearing a mask (which I recommend these days) people will know exactly who they are. And maybe even then. Or how about if they go to a play party or a dungeon? There are all these BDSM-related experiences that they wouldn’t be able to have because they have to protect their image. I guess in a small enough community or at a small enough munch it might be possible, but otherwise?

I feel bad for famous people into BDSM. Munches, play parties, and dungeons are integral parts of the experience, and odds are good they can’t go to them, unless the munch is all famous people, or someone rents out the dungeon, or the play party is at a private person’s home and only trusted people are invited who wouldn’t say anything out of the ordinary if the star of their favorite sitcom was wearing a leather bodysuit and being led around on a leash.

I’m not famous. I mean, I’m a writer, so some people know who I am, but as a writer of kinky stories it’s okay for me to be at a munch or play party. And I know folks well-known in the spanking community attend parties — like Michael Masterson, the gentleman who runs RealSpankings, or the purveyor of PunishmentsOnly (I forget his name but I met him once), or Sarah Gregory and Alex Reynolds. However, I have to imagine it’d be more difficult for people who are famous. (I don’t want to name anyone, even as a hypothetical example, because I don’t want to risk being sued for libel.) It’s hard enough getting up the courage to enter the BDSM community as a non-famous person; it must be nigh-impossible if you are famous. And that sucks.

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