30 Days of Kink, Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?
Communication in BDSM is vital, not only for safety but also for stress-related issues. While not everyone in BDSM is polyamorous, many of us do have multiple play partners. I would never not reveal a session with someone else, and I would never do anything we hadn’t agreed was okay between us.
Also, it’s important to take time away from the BDSM aspect of things. You can’t be “on” all the time; your brain would explode. Just because you’re in a BDSM relationship with someone, that doesn’t mean everything is all about BDSM. We tell each other funny stories, we talk about our days, and in those moments we’re just people. Not kinky people. Just people. We need to remember that we are people first and kinky people second.