People cancel on scenes all the time. I will say that in my experience it’s usually bottoms who have something come up, but tops can cancel too; I’ve done it. Recently a friend of mine was supposed to do a second scene with a local dom after their first scene didn’t go as planned, and my friend caught a stomach bug the day they were supposed to meet up for the second time. She sent the dom a message apologizing, and here’s his response:

Apology accepted. Although I’m really grumpy that the rug has been pulled out from under me two weeks running when my time, talent, knowledge, and efforts to plan this as part of my birthday month could have been spent elsewhere, especially when I tried to offer you a second chance from when the first time went sideways.

Whoa there! What the hell, dude? Someone was willing to let you do stuff to them and you pull this shit? I’m not surprised that my friend told him they would not be seeing each other again.

Look, I get it: he was disappointed. I’m always disappointed when I have plans to play with someone and they get cancelled. But the right thing to do is to say: “I’m sorry you’re not feeling well; would you like to reschedule?” If the bottom has to reschedule more than three times, then you might have a point, but you still don’t express it aloud. That is for your inner monologue, not your outer one. This sort of attitude gets around, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this dom loses out on future play opportunities as a result. Bottoms talk. It doesn’t matter how much talent and knowledge you have if you’re an asshole.

Although sometimes it also doesn’t matter if you’re an asshole, if you have talent and knowledge. I’m reminded of a dom who used to attend my local dungeon; the old location had side rooms where you could play semi-privately (there were no doors, but there was enough space inside to do one or even two scenes). This particular dom was well-known in the community and (I guess) well-respected, to the point that he would put a magnetic chain across the door of one of the side rooms and set up shop in there all night (instead of letting other people take turns using the equipment and space, like you’re supposed to — and like the rules said to). The DMs and owners of the dungeon had to be aware of this, and they let it happen. I guess if you’re enough of an asshole you come through the other side, where people actually like and respect you. I don’t know. I just know I don’t respect that particular dom.