When I started writing my Lizzie stories, Alex (the POV character) was much more submissive (once he learned that that was what Lizzie wanted). According to my Google Drive, the first rewrite of the first three chapters was done in September 2021, and the next story was written in February 2022. I then didn’t touch the series for three-and-a-half years. 

I started dating Partner 1 and Partner 2 in late 2021 (and my long-distance partner in Q3 2022). Over the years, my relationships with them grew and developed. And, I think, when I started getting what I needed from them, the things I wrote about changed as well. I’ve discussed in the past how my stories during the writing of Holiday Heat often included cuddles because that’s what I wanted at the time: to cuddle and watch TV. (Also, spankings and sex, but beyond that…) 

I don’t think I ever really wanted to be submissive. I want to experience the mental side of things (I’ve done the physical side, but whenever I think about the mental side I feel like an impostor and I don’t really get anything out of it); or, at least, I thought I did. So I wrote the Lizzie stories in part to explore that. 

But the last four stories written in the series were written when I was in a comfortable position in my relationships, and I was having my needs met. As such, while I was having fun writing the stories, I wasn’t writing them for the purpose of exploring anything new; I was writing them because I felt like it. And that was reflected in the writing — readers of these stories (when the book comes out, probably next year sometime) will likely notice that Alex and Lizzie become a lot more egalitarian outside of the bedroom. Oh, Alex will always be submissive to Lizzie, but like with my submissive partners the dominant part of my personality is generally confined to bedroom/kink activities, and outside of that we’re more egalitarian. 

I wrote Shell Game in the late 00s (the first draft, anyway), when I was trapped in a bad marriage and needed more kink in my life. At the time, a 24/7 TPE relationship seemed like the thing to have. But when I gained the freedom to explore my kinks more fully (after the marriage was over) I realized that, while I certainly can be a 24/7 top, it’s not what I need to be happy. So, when you look at the preponderance of my published works, you’ll generally find that the couples (or triads, or quads, or whatever) are more egalitarian in nature. Even in Lessons, once Princess Eleanora’s behavior is dealt with, things fall into a more “regular” relationship style. 

I was always taught to respect others and not impose my will on them. It’s why it can be so difficult for me to make decisions when other people are involved — especially people I care about. Even simple decisions like “what do we want to do for dinner?” can lead to impasses. And then, when it comes to sex, there are things that I want but I don’t always want to ask for them because I don’t want to do something the other person doesn’t want me to do. (I’ve been working on this for years and I’m getting better at it.) It’s a weird position to be in, for someone on the left side of the slash. 

Maybe that’s why I’m enjoying writing the Lizzie stories now: someone else decides what the POV character is going to do, but ultimately said character has fun and gets everything they want without having to impose their will on someone else. 

Changing relationships change storytelling; I find that people tend to write about what they want to happen. I mean, no, Chuck Tingle probably doesn’t want a monkey to bash someone’s head in with a typewriter, but he wants to address bi erasure, so he included that in Lucky Day. Just like I don’t have a burning desire to have someone kick me in the balls but I do sometimes want someone else to lead in the bedroom once the spanking and kink is done and we’ve moved onto the sexytimes. So I included that in the Lizzie stories. 

I plan to be in my relationships for a while. Who knows how they’ll change in the future? I guess you’ll have to read my fiction to find out.