Most of us doomscroll to one extent or another. It’s usually boredom that drives us to it — boredom that we could be filling with something more useful or productive (like writing). I’m just as guilty as everyone else. (Recently I’ve been playing Lego Tower instead of doomscrolling, but sometimes the urge hits me.) 

For my money, my best algorithm for doomscrolling is Reddit. It knows what I like: cute animals, spanking, and the occasional satirical political post. It tries to squeeze in serious topics from time to time, but I do my best not to engage with them and the Reddit algorithm is a little more forgiving because you can set up your list of preferred subreddits and the system will give you more of what you like. 

Sometimes I use Facebook. Facebook has decided, for whatever reason, that I’m a fan of professional wrestling. I used to be a big fan — I used to write for one of the biggest (at the time) wrestling websites. I had a column and I also covered some indie wrestling events where I lived. Facebook also is kind enough to show me posts from my friends, as well as some funny person-on-the-street videos and the occasional cute animal. It also sometimes shows me a political post, but they’re usually shared by my friends so it’s okay (because most of my friends share my political views). I can easily scroll past them. 

But I fucked up my Instagram algorithm beyond repair. Sure, I follow a couple hundred friends, cute animal accounts, and meme accounts, and I interact with those. But apparently I also interacted with enough political posts that I have been stuck in an echo chamber — I’m now getting a lot of political posts that match my political views. Which is all well and good, but it’s also depressing as hell, given that waking up every morning is like… 

I still occasionally do scroll through Instagram, mostly to see reels and posts from people I care about, but if I go too far I find a political post, and then I pause to read it or watch it, and the algorithm thinks I want to see more like it, when really I’m just taking a moment to read what’s on the screen. But if I want to be depressed, Instagram is the place I go. 

Speaking of Instagram, one of the things that really annoys me about it is how people will put music behind a simple one-image post — a cute dog, or a meme — which makes it difficult to pause and read or look at because eventually it gets to the “play again?” screen. If I see a great meme I just want to like it, share it, or add it to my story. I don’t need there to be music behind it (since my phone is basically muted 100% of the time anyway) and I think it’s a negative user experience to have images treated as reels just so Instagram can sell more ads. Although I suppose I must deal with it, because anytime you get something for free, the product is you (and, more specifically, your data). 

I miss the days when I could go on Instagram, scroll for about a minute, see everything from my friends who had posted in the past day or two, and not have to worry about the algorithm sticking stuff in there in hopes that I stay on the app longer and interact with it. And the worst part is: I do interact with it, thereby making it worse. 

Here’s something funny, though: I like to reshare amusing fart memes (hey, I’m allowed to have some puerile humor in my life), and apparently they’ve infiltrated Partner 1’s feed — now she gets crochet, kink, polyamory, Chihuahuas, and farts. 

My work here is done.