Last month (maybe the month before; I don’t remember) I taught a Boot Camp class on Negotiations and Dungeon Etiquette. With the help of Partner 1, I put together some notes. I’d never taught a class on dungeon etiquette before, but a lot of it is pretty logical when you think about it.

1. DUNGEON ETIQUETTE
   1. Three Big Rules
      1. Don’t interrupt a scene for any reason.
      2. Don’t take photos or video.
      3. Don’t touch anyone or anything without consent/permission.
   2. More on the three big rules
      1. Why shouldn’t you interrupt a scene?
         1. You will mess with people’s headspace.
         2. You were not invited.
         3. The people playing may be doing something that looks unsafe, but they have already negotiated it — in this case, find a DM for assistance.
         4. Don’t talk too loudly around scenes.
         5. If you have questions, save them for after the scene aftercare is done.
      2. Why shouldn’t you take photos or video?
         1. Privacy
         2. If you want to take a photo or video, obtain consent and talk to a DM. This applies only to scene participants. If you’re not a participant in the scene, don’t even ask; just wait for them to post about it on Fetlife.
      3. Why shouldn’t you touch without permission?
         1. Bodily autonomy and consent.
         2. Regarding implements/kink tools, some of them have very personal meaning to people. And some might be fluid-bonded.
   3. Other important rules
      1. Clean up after yourself.
         1. Use cleaning supplies on everything public.
         2. It’s also a good idea to clean your implements, unless they are for one person only.
         3. If you are doing something messy, like wax play, put down a tarp or some plastic.
         4. In dungeons where sex is permitted, absolutely clean up after yourself — your person as well as your area.
         5. Speaking of cleanliness — don’t put your bare butt (or sexual organs) on people’s stuff. Put down a towel or sheet.
      2. Don’t out people.
         1. Don’t call them by any name or pronouns other than the ones they prefer. Just because you might be friends with Bob on Facebook, if he wants to be called Thomas at the dungeon, you call him Thomas.
         2. Don’t ask for someone’s “real” name. They’ll give it to you if they want to give it to you.
      3. Be aware of your surroundings.
         1. If you get hit by an implement, you were too close to the scene.
         2. Dungeons can get crowded; be patient as you move through them.
         3. On that topic — be mindful of how busy the dungeon is and if there are a lot of people waiting limit your scene to a reasonable time (45 minutes plus cleanup).
      4. It’s okay to be squicked out.
         1. YKINMKBYKIOK.
         2. But don’t be noisy about it. Just leave the area.
         3. If something makes you genuinely uncomfortable and you feel it’s unsafe, find a DM.
         4. If you’re going to be doing something particularly edgy or triggering (such as needles, breath play, severe verbal degradation/humiliation, etc.), inform a DM before you start.
      5. You will be told “no”
         1. Most people come to a dungeon with someone else specifically to hang out or play. There is not a lot of pickup play at dungeons between people who don’t know each other or are only casual acquaintances.
            1. For example, I don’t have a scene planned with one of my friends tonight, but if they came up and asked me, and it was okay with my partner, I might do a scene.
         2. That said, you can certainly ask, but if you’re told no, move on.
      6. Food and drink:
         1. While most dungeons have a place where you can snack, some do not.
         2. Do not eat around scenes.
         3. Only drink water around scenes or equipment to minimize damage in case of spills.
      7. Don’t be a creep.
         1. Watching a scene is okay — if they’re doing it in public, they understand that people are going to watch.
         2. But don’t stare or leer. Especially don’t stare or leer at sexual organs.
            1. Obviously if it’s a CBT scene you’re going to look at the penis and testicles, but don’t leer.
   4. DMs have the final say on any scene occurring in the dungeon. You must obey them or you will probably be thrown out.

If you’re going to play in a dungeon, whether it’s public or private, obey the rules of the road, and remember: every dungeon has slightly different rules. Familiarize yourself with them before you play.