One of the most popular innovations at GASP last year is actually one that we borrowed from Oasis — during our Spanking Carousel, which is our bottoms’-choice spanking event, we offered all spankers the opportunity to wear a wristband indicating they spanked only men, only women, or anyone. This was after a lot of discussion with our trans friends and advisors — we wanted to make the event as inclusive as possible without unduly drawing attention to the fact that someone was trans (unless they wanted attention drawn to the fact).

This year, we took it a step further: not only did every badge have pronouns on it (unless someone specifically requested no pronouns), but it also had a colored dot indicating what sex or gender an attendee preferred to play with.

(For the record, this is not my badge; it is the badge of someone who did not attend, that I used for an example in an email blast.)

And yes, when the badge art was created, the dot was placed exactly where the elephant’s ball should go on purpose.

Because our lanyards represented whether someone was a top, bottom, or switch by using blue, red, and yellow, we wanted to go with different colors to indicate play preference. We decided on orange for “plays only with men”, purple for “plays only with women”, and green for “plays with any sex/gender”. I was very, very pleased to see that green was the most common color on badges. Nothing against people who prefer to play only with men or only with women, but as a man who learned that it’s just as much fun to spank the same sex as it is to spank the opposite sex, I don’t see what the big deal is. I’m not attracted to (most) men, and I don’t get any sexual feelings when I spank them (or am spanked by them). I do it because I enjoy spanking. (For the record, unless it’s with someone I’m intimate with, or am going to be intimate with, I ignore any sexual feelings I get during the spanking because that’s the polite thing to do.) Spankings and sex are interconnected for some people, but for others they can be entirely disparate. I am primarily attracted to women, but there have been women I’ve spanked that I’m not physically attracted to. They’re still my friends, however, and I spank them because they like being spanked and I like giving them spankings.

My badge proudly displayed a green dot, and whatever the color is for next year (probably green again, although I think I’ll have to buy more green dots because we used a lot of them), I will proudly display that as well. I believe in inclusivity in the spanking community no matter what sex or gender you identify as, and I’m more than happy to share that information with the world.

The dots also got a good response from our attendees; flagging what sex/gender you like to play with, whether you’re a top, bottom, or switch, gives people one less worry about asking to play. That’s already a difficult thing to do for many people; a lot of spankos are shy and/or introverted, and it can be tough to work up the courage to ask someone to play. Knowing they are willing to play with your sex/gender removes one opportunity for rejection — if you’re a woman, for example, you don’t have to ask someone to play only to find out that they only play with men. The dot will tell you that, and you’ll be able to have a nice conversation with the person instead without either of you experiencing undue pressure — finding out the person you’re interested in is not interested in you can be crushing, and the dots help set expectations.

As spanking parties in general become more inclusive spaces, I look forward to this trend spreading throughout the spanking party community. Thanks to Oasis for giving us the idea; thanks to our attendees for supporting it.