There are certain things you don’t want to hear at a spanking party. Here are some of them:

Oops! Well, okay, we all make mistakes, but you still don’t want to be on either end of them.

I’ve never done this before, but how hard can it be? Yeah, no. You need to either know what you’re doing or take a class. There are usually classes about spanking at spanking parties. For some reason I’m thinking about the time some rando walked up to me while I was spanking Partner 1 and asked if he could spank her too. Don’t do that.

What rules? What website? All the big spanking parties have rules and they’re usually on a website. You usually have to acknowledge them before you can pay for your ticket.

I don’t want to alarm you but there is something wrong with your butt. It’s got a crack in it. Hah! Spanking jokes like this aren’t funny anymore. They may never have been.

Can you wrap this up soon? I have play planned with Top XYZ in a few minutes. This has happened to me before. I was spanking someone at last year’s Lone Star and she cut the scene short because she had another appointment. We weren’t planning to do a super-long scene, but I would’ve appreciated more than five minutes with her over my lap.

You’re not a top? I bet I could make you want to top me. That is not how that works. That is not how any of that works.

Limits and preferences? I thought you were supposed to be a sub. People like this generally aren’t at spanking parties anymore, and if they are, they probably will want to play privately with you. This is why you should always play in public first.

When does the swinging portion of the party start? Spanking parties are not sex parties. Sex sometimes happens at them, but almost always in private and between people who already know each other.