Munches are very important when it comes to meeting people and building trust in the community. It’s one of the first things new kinksters are told they should do if they want to get to know other kinksters — and it certainly works better than just randomly messaging them on Fetlife. I’ve been going to munches for eleven years now, and I’ve met a ton of great people at them.

But I’m also starting to feel a little tired of them.

Last week there were two munches scheduled for me to attend — one very large outdoor one and one smaller indoor one. However, I find that I don’t really enjoy myself very much at the large one. I should — I know a ton of people there, I enjoy the food, and people are generally happy to see me. So why am I not having as much fun as I’d like to?

The next night, I went to the indoor munch. I was happy to be going with Partner 1 and her nesting partner, but I wasn’t really looking forward to the munch itself. It ended up being fine, but I didn’t enjoy it the way I used to enjoy going to munches.

What’s changed?

Well, for starters, I’ve been pretty down this entire year due to my job situation — first the fact that my job was boring, and then the fact that I was laid off. I only recently got a new job (which I haven’t even started yet) and maybe I haven’t reset from that. I’ve been spending a lot of time alone these past few months — my kid started college, so I was alone while she was out of state, except when my partners and I were doing things together. I stopped taking the dog for walks — again, the depression. I’ve had money worries. It could be any or all of these things, or none of them at all.

I keep going to munches, though. I’m technically a community leader of sorts, and I have to be seen at other events to keep up my kink street cred, so to speak. By maintaining good relationships within the community, I find myself able to attend private events, trade announcements at other munches, and advertise GASP. But lately I just don’t feel like I want to put forth the effort anymore.

I wonder if things will change after I’ve had my new job for a while. I certainly hope they do. I miss looking forward to going to munches, instead of thinking of them as drudgery — or, worse, dreading them altogether.

Don’t let my blah-ness detract from the idea of going to munches, though. They’re still great ways to build yourself up in the community. The problem is with me, not with the munches.