Is it worse to hear “no” or hear nothing at all?

I have this friend I met about eight years ago, and for a while we’d see each other once a year at an event. We’d hug, talk a bit, and then go our separate ways. I always had a slight crush on her — nothing I really wanted to act on at the time, because she lived too far away. But recently she moved to the same town I live in, and the thought of maybe asking her out popped into my mind.

Then I bumped into her at an event — completely unexpectedly — and, as expected, we hugged and talked a bit. She also introduced me to her Daddy, who I knew in passing.

I hemmed and hawed a while before finally sending her a message on Fetlife, basically asking if they are monogamous because if not I would be interested in perhaps discussing going out sometime. I don’t know if we have a lot in common outside of kink; I don’t know if we’d hate each other if we spent more than fifteen minutes in close proximity; I don’t even know if she likes to be spanked.

I still don’t know, because even now, almost a month later, I’ve heard nothing back.

I know she’s been on Fetlife because we’re friends on there and I’ve seen her interact on the site. So the odds of her not having seen the message are small. I was very polite and circumspect, not pushy at all. I would’ve been fine with “no, let’s just stay friends” if that had been her answer.

Instead, radio silence.

I’m not going to ask again because I don’t want to come across as a nudge, and anyway she probably didn’t answer because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. At least, that’s what I’m going with in my head.

I don’t know when we’ll see each other again — maybe in passing, since like I said we now live in the same town. But if we just hug, talk, and move on, I’ll have my answer.