Recently on Fetlife, Michael Masterson of RealSpankings wrote a very brief post that basically said: “if someone’s hands start wandering during a spanking, and that wasn’t negotiated beforehand, end the scene and get out of there.” User flowercrownz expanded on this a bit more:

And many people who want to give a spanking, especially guys, think that because they have a girl over their knee or bending over in front of them, they can touch her breasts or between her legs WITHOUT PERMISSION. They use such excuses as “I’m just a sex-positive player. I’m just a sensual player. I know she said just spanking but I could see she was getting wet so I take that to mean she wants me to do more even though she said beforehand she didn’t.”

I’m proud to say that I’ve never touched anyone inappropriately during a spanking without asking first — before the scene, that is. I’ve done two scenes in the past where the bottom has told me afterward how wet she was — one said “I can’t believe you didn’t see it dripping down my leg.” That’s fucking hot, yes, but we never talked about sex, so before we did the scenes, I put the bottoms in the “no sex” box in my head. I may get a little aroused, but I hide it and refuse to act on it because we didn’t negotiate that beforehand or because I don’t necessarily want to have sex with the person. Sometimes I’m in it just for the spanking.

This isn’t to say that, with my partners, I don’t touch them sexually while we’re doing our spanking play, but I have their consent in advance to do that.

I wouldn’t say spanking is a sex-negative kink, but as flowercrownz says, sometimes it’s a sex-replacement kink:

For most of us spankos, our fetish is so satisfying that we might not even feel the need for sex; spanking takes the place of sex. Or maybe we just don’t want sex in the same session as the spanking. Many of us get turned on thinking about it later, and want to orgasm alone or with a partner, WHILE thinking about it. I can’t get turned on or orgasm without thinking about it. My husband is mostly the same.

I don’t go to spanking parties to find people to fuck. I go to them to find people to spank. People trust me to spank them because I’m known as someone who respects boundaries, negotiates well, and gives a good hand spanking. When I look at my hit list, the preponderance of people on it don’t have a * next to their name (the * indicates that we also engaged in sexual activity). That isn’t to say I didn’t find people on the list attractive, or that I didn’t want to have sex with them; it means that I was engaging in a negotiated scene where sex was not discussed or required, so I’m going to just, y’know, not do it. It’s not hard to control yourself. It’s really not. If it is, maybe you should look into why.

The same can be said for other kinks/fetishes. I’ve seen plenty of people get tied up in rope, or do knife play, or do wax play, where hands didn’t wander. I even know someone who likes to do wax play on people’s breasts, and his hands never touch anywhere that hasn’t been negotiated. In that case, breasts were negotiated, so he gets to touch them. When I negotiate, I make sure it’s okay to touch non-sexual areas — thighs (except inner thighs), shoulders, back of the neck, the back, hair, etc. Most of the time people will say yes, unless they have a specific issue with a certain body part (for example, one of my friends with whom I play has placed her thighs completely off-limits to impact). Most of the time, we’ll have a good scene. Occasionally things might go sideways, but it won’t be because of my wandering hands.