The June edition of Holiday Heat is coming this Saturday; pre-order your copy now!

As evidenced from my “funny” screencaps over the past little while, I’ve been watching a lot of baking shows lately. I figured I’d put a bread machine on my Amazon wish list so that (a) I would remember I wanted one and (b) if someone wanted to spend over $100 on me they could do so. I truly didn’t expect my parents to get me a bread machine for my birthday.

Not that I’m complaining.

My first attempted loaf was brioche, and I don’t know what the hell happened. It rose — rose a lot — and then collapsed inward, and it was more of a cornbread-y consistency when I took it out. Didn’t taste great either.

My second, third, and fourth loaves were French bread. They all came out correct, but they looked weird and they felt dense so I wasn’t sure that the yeast was working, but after tasting the fourth one I realized that it was what it was supposed to be. Not a huge fan of the shape or the bottom crust, but hey, at least I know it worked.

That’s what the French loaf looked like. Ignore the giant chunk missing from the middle — that’s where I pulled out the kneading paddle because I was too lazy to take it out before the bake cycle.

Partner 2 also has a bread machine. She’s going to bring it to my house soon and we’ll compare the results of some different loaves.

Look, all I really wanted was to not have to spend $6 or $7 on a loaf of brioche bread. But if I can’t get it to work, I’m going to be quite put out.