Read part 1 here.

I came across an article on MSN of all places (I know, right?) called “15 Rude Conversation Habits You Need to Stop ASAP”. This is especially impactful to me because a couple of nights ago I did two of these things without even thinking about it, and I didn’t realize until afterward that I was being rude. I just thought it was normal. So I’m going to talk about the fifteen habits this week.

Suffering From Main Character Syndrome

I call this “turning it around” — someone texts you, calls you, or wants to talk to you in person, and they say something, and you immediately turn it around so it’s all about yourself instead of the other person. I used to do this a lot more, but I’ve been actively trying to avoid it. There is a difference, by the way, between giving an example, talking about yourself, and turning the conversation around. Know the difference.

Leaving Your Phone Face Up

The problem with doing this is that you might get a message you think needs to be replied to immediately, when actually picking up your phone in the middle of a conversation is quite rude. I will usually warn people in advance if I’m going to do this — I’ll tell them the truth, that I have a teenager and I need to check to see if she needs me. Usually I just glance down at my watch, which can make people think you think they’re wasting your time or that you have somewhere else more important to be, so again, make sure the other person knows why you have to check your phone or watch. Or just… don’t.

One-Upping The Conversation

This can be a corollary of Main Character Syndrome, and it’s most often seen in parents who say “when I was your age I had to…” I mean, we all do it from time to time, but just because someone (for example) stubbed their toe it doesn’t mean you have to tell them about the time you broke your toe. You can tell them, but empathize with them; don’t just throw it into the conversation because you want to make it about yourself.

Oversharing Or Undersharing

Thanks to the internet and social media, we’re all oversharers these days. What is this blog, after all, if not a place for me to overshare things while working through them. However, there’s a limit to how much you should share, and how many details you should give. Don’t turn the other person into your therapist, and don’t clam up and say nothing at all. Find a happy medium. I know I say that like it’s easy, but I know it’s not. It takes work — being a good conversationalist requires practice.

Teasing

As with sarcasm, teasing can seriously backfire. But also, don’t use “I’m just teasing” as a way to get out of the consequences of your words or actions. It’s the same as putting a “lol” on the end of something just in case it comes across badly. I’ve misused teasing before, and things have gone very badly as a result, so now I don’t do it, or if I do do it, I do it so blatantly obviously (with lots of mugging) that it’s clear I’m not being serious. And even then sometimes I still have to apologize.

More tomorrow!