Over on Fetlife, Spankee_Me wrote a post called “Ten Things About Spankos”. I’d say they’re pretty accurate.

1. Most hardwired Spankos have been preoccupied with spanking since they were very small.

Accurate. And that’s all I’m going to say about that one.

2. For most it was a challenge even to use the word spanking. Words hold a lot of weight in the spanking community so careful throwing around those honorifics. We take it all seriously… there is great value in having a partner who really means it!

Oh, heavens, do I remember how hard it was to even articulate the desire in the first place. Even now I sometimes lower my voice when I say the word, even when I’m around other spankos.

3. Because this paraphilia is so nuanced we have really great etiquette in regards to consent and scening. Even when we practice CNC.

This is true, and it often surprises kinksters who are into more than just spanking just how involved spanking can be.

4. Unfortunately Spankos are snobs. There are groups that consider themselves elite. Maybe it’s to protect the purity of the group… maybe it’s an ego thing.

I don’t think I am one, but then, I’m into more than just spanking. Sure, I love spanking, but I also love other kinky stuff. Interestingly, it is almost the same the other way around; people who are into other kinks look down on spankos because they just have this one interest.

5. Spankos easily get the ick… don’t push your fantasies on us we are only interested in mutual relationships of give and take.

I’m not so sure about this one. I mean, yes, they do get squicked out, but I don’t think they’re all only interested in what she says they’re interested in.

6. There are people who love wood and hate leather. Some love the wooden spoon and domestic discipline and some love a school vibe. Like I said spankos likes and dislikes are vast.

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,/Than are dreamt of in your philosophy” (Hamlet, 1.5.165–66)

7. Spanking does not necessarily mean sex. Some of us practice spanking outside of any sexual interaction.

This occurs to general BDSM as well. For a lot of people, spanking is sexual, or can lead to sex, but for just as many spanking is its own thing. Think about spanking parties — you’re not going to fuck everyone who spanks you (or who you spank) while at the party. In fact, unless you’re there with a regular partner or have planned ahead, you’re probably not going to have sex at all.

8. In the case of discipline, some of us think that regular spankings and being accountable really work! Just because you are an adult doesn’t mean you don’t need occasional loving correction and a nice cuddle afterwards. It can be very healing, healthy and intimate if both people communicate well and are evolved.

This is one that surprised me when I got more into spanking than just “spanking turns me on so I want to do it with my girlfriend”. I know people who hate being spanked but still include it as part of their lives because they know it works for them.

9. We think all butts are beautiful. Truly.

10. Some people are masochists but some want spanked without any real pain or damage. A great spanker can read your body and give you just enough to make an impact!

Yup. I have three different partners. One likes to be spanked hard enough for bruises and soreness that lasts, one is more moderate but sometimes does like harder/heavier scenes, and one likes her spankings to be light enough to sting but not enough to cause a lot of pain. It’s all about finding what you love and going with it.