According to the Bad Girls Bible, “bratting” is “[a] specific style or personality of submissive. As the name suggests, the sub is rebellious and antagonist.” Brats excel at backtalk and pushback, but it’s in pursuit of being spanked for it. They’re not doing it because they actually want to upset the top; they’re doing it to add spice to the interaction. A lot of spankees are brats.

But not all of them. And not all the time.

If you consider yourself a “brat tamer” — someone who puts brats in their place, usually via spankings or other punishments/funishments — don’t assume that every spankee is a brat and don’t treat them all the same. Every bottom is different, and may want different things, even when it comes to how they brat and why they brat. And some brats might know that certain tops or spankers don’t respond positively to their bratting, so they curb it for those particular people.

I have spanked a lot of brats in my time, but these days I make sure they know up front that I’m not a brat tamer. I can accept a certain amount of brattiness, but once the line is crossed it ceases to be fun. Perhaps that’s why I don’t write a lot of brattiness in my stories. I’m not saying spanking and BDSM has to be serious, but there’s a difference between keeping things lighthearted and crossing the line into bratting, playful or otherwise. For me, I think when it ceases to be cute it ceases to be fun.

The aforementioned Bad Girls Bible offers these tips for ensuring that your bratting is fun and not annoying:

1. Read the room. There are times when you can be a brat, and times when you shouldn’t. I’ve come across a lot of brats (who I haven’t spanked) who don’t know how to properly read the room and act inappropriately. (Bratting is appropriate, in its place.)
2. Use voice. This doesn’t work so well for online interactions, but in person a bratty tone of voice can be a huge help.
3. Match their energy. As a top, if someone is bratting you, you can brat them right back — and then spank them.
4. Get on the same page. This is sort of a combination of 2 and 3 — there may be times when bratting isn’t appropriate but the brat thinks it is. Negotiating in advance can help brats to understand certain situations.
5. Figure out the rules. I believe I just talked about this.

Oh, and one other thing: brats love malicious compliance. They’ll do exactly what the top wants, but not in the way the top intended or expected. Sometimes this leads to hilarious results; other times it leads to a sore bottom. It really just depends.

Brats: brat with confidence, but be mindful of the person and the situation. Tops: remember that brats exist and adjust your topping accordingly. Everyone wins!