I see a lot of spanking pictures, both on Fetlife and Reddit, and without fail there’s a comment that says something like “not hard enough” or “I can do better”.

Dude. (And yes, it’s always, always a dude.) Not every spanking has to end in marks and tears. Not every spanking has to end with a crimson bottom. Sometimes a light spanking is all that’s required — especially if you’re in a dynamic and you’re using words as well as spanks to discipline someone.

Look, I get it: red bottoms and beautiful bruises are amazing to see. I want to see them too. But you’re not doing yourself any favors by having a comment like that in your history. People check that sort of thing. I admit that, back in the days of Tumblr, I said some things like this, and I regret it to this day. Nowadays when I comment on a photo I never say “I can do better” unless the person’s photo caption specifically asks if someone can do better. That’s the only time that’s appropriate.

I’d like to say “if it’s not something you’d say to someone you care about, don’t say it to a stranger either”, but I have said “that wasn’t hard enough” to people I care about. Usually right before I spank them even harder. You get the idea, though.