I mentioned on Monday that while at Lone Star 2023 I spanked a trans* woman on Friday. Between the two spankings, something happened that made me think.

It was very cold in the hospitality suite, so I was cuddling Spankee #3/4 to help keep her warm when an acquaintance of mine came in for some water. She (the acquaintance) commented how cold it was in the room. I said, “I’m not cold, but she is,” referring to my new trans* friend. After my acquaintance left, my new friend thanked me. I knew what she was thanking me for, but I wasn’t expecting to be thanked. After all, she introduced herself to me as being a woman, so in my head that’s what she is. It doesn’t matter what parts she has between her legs; if she identifies as a woman, she’s a woman.

I guess when you live in a place that isn’t known for its acceptance of non-traditional gender and sexuality you’re appreciative whenever someone correctly genders you, but it still bothered me a bit. Not that she thanked me, but that she felt obliged to do so. Trans* people have been around for a long time — longer than anyone really thinks — and by now, since they’re so entrenched in modern western culture, it should be easy to gender someone the way they choose.

It just seems weird to me to refer to my new friend as male, or even with the they/them pronouns, since she introduced herself as female. Had she corrected me, I would have apologized and begun using whatever pronouns I was asked to, but she’s a woman. End of discussion.

I look forward to the day when someone who is trans* doesn’t feel compelled to thank others for using their correct pronouns.