I was recently vetted and invited to attend a Thanksgiving spanking party. It’s near my parents’ house, and since I’m going to be there Thanksgiving week, I figure, why not? It beats sitting around watching them watch MSNBC, right?

But ever since I paid my admission fee and got my official invite, I’ve had pre-party jitters. Unlike national parties, this is a smaller, one-night event, and it’s with people I’ve never met or even heard of. Are they going to want to play at all? How much play will be happening at this party? Is pickup play encouraged? Will people who do pickup play want to play with me?

Generally when I go to events locally I go with a partner or friend, so that I have someone to play with and so that I don’t feel alone. I’m not at my best when I don’t have someone with me to lean on. I tend to turn inward, to get more and more introverted, and eventually I just leave, angry at myself for not being more social. This has happened in the past. Numerous times. Hell, it’s occasionally happened when I did have someone to play with; I’ve just felt wrong and packed up and left without doing anything. In fact, the last time I went to a party down near my parents’ house, that’s exactly what happened — I sat at a table for a couple of hours, had some non-alcoholic drinks (since I was driving), talked to one person, and eventually left, frustrated that I didn’t get to play or even talk to very many people. I’m older now — this was more than twenty years ago — and a little more confident, but I’m not that confident.

I can only imagine that my jitters are going to get worse the closer this party gets. I really hope it goes amazingly, and that I get to give (or receive) a few spankings. It’ll help cut down on the stress of Thanksgiving at my parents’ house. I hope.