Last Wednesday I introduced you to the concept of breasts the color of late morning fog. Another screenshot from the same “bad sex writing” friend came in recently, and I wanted to share it with you.

Ugh. So many problems here. “Soft pointed tip of his cock”? “Her channel”? And of course the /r/badfemaleanatomy of it all, feeling the tip of his cock “pierce her womb”.

Look. I’ve had sex with a nonzero number of people of all shapes and sizes. I’ve bumped a cervix or two in my time. And, as my partners will tell you, my cock gets pretty hard. But I have never pierced a womb. Never ever. Generally, I slip into the uterine fornix, which I’m told feels really good for the woman. I mean, I’ve never had any complaints, so I guess that’s true, at least for the women I’ve slept with.

Some women enjoy having their cervix bumped. Others find it uncomfortable. But given what I know about gynecological exams, they’re generally not the most fun experience a woman has on a yearly basis. If the doctor has to check the inside of the cervix, that’s probably not fun and probably involves some sort of specialized equipment that’s far more invasive than just the tip of the penis. So I suppose if it’s just the tip of the penis (which is soft and pointed, apparently, until it gets hard, at least according to this author) it’s not as bad, but I for one have never desired to fuck a woman’s cervix. The usual places are good enough for me, thank you.

I’ve written a lot of sex scenes. None of them have ever involved the pricking of a womb. Just saying.