I’m sick of being sick.

Last Wednesday (the 11th), I woke up feeling sick with what felt an awful lot like COVID. I took a test on the 11th and the 12th, and both came back negative, but I spent both days with headaches, chills, hot flashes, muscle aches, and general malaise. By Friday I started feeling a little better, although my stomach was still frequently upset.

It’s now nine days later and my stomach is still upset. It doesn’t matter what I put into it — any kind of food, any kind of liquid — it almost immediately cramps up and then rebels. Explosively.

And I’m fucking tired of it. I’m tired of my bathroom. I’m tired of not being able to go do anything because I need to be so close to a bathroom all the time. It’s like all the hallmarks of IBS-D, except that it seems to have come on rather suddenly.

I went to the doctor yesterday because, last Saturday, I did a virtual visit and she said if I was still sick after a week to see my primary care doctor (waste of a $50 copay there, I think). My regular doctor basically spent twenty minutes telling me it was a virus, and my COVID negative tests were probably false negatives, and all I could do was wait it out.

Gee. Thanks. That’s really helpful.

I haven’t even lost a lot of weight after all this time in the bathroom — only a couple of pounds. Which seems ridiculous given that I can’t keep any food in my body for very long.

I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I just know it better be cleared up by November 9, because that’s when I leave for Lone Star and the absolute last thing I need is for this to affect me while I’m in the security line or on the airplane.

I just want to drink water and not feel sick afterward. Is that too much to ask?