One of my ex-girlfriends and I have become “bad sex writing” friends. We were together for about two months, then broke up because she wasn’t poly and didn’t feel comfortable being in a poly relationship. That’s fair. We still chat from time to time, and share our opinions of Letterkenny and Shoresy, and whenever she comes across bad sex writing she sends me a screenshot. Here’s one of them:

First of all, what color is “late morning fog”? Wouldn’t that depend on the quality of the sunlight at the time? The latitude and longitude of the observer? The amount of particulates in the air?

And secondly, I don’t know if I want a woman to smell breadlike. I mean, I’m going to eat her regardless, but I want her to smell like a woman, not like bread. Even if she’s a baker, or just a hobbyist bread maker.

I have no idea what book this is from, but it’s a weird paragraph. Not sure how an editor let that past.