I generally consider myself to be straight, or at the very most heteroflexible. I’ve never done anything with another man except for spanking; never kissed one, never had sex with one, none of that stuff. I’m not opposed to it, but I don’t seek it out.

During the same discussion over dinner that I mentioned last week, my daughter opined that she always thought there was something going on between me and my closest local male friend. She said she had headcanon of us doing stuff together. Not that she thought about her dad having sex with another dude (I hope), but I guess I can understand. This particular male friend is very physically affectionate — lots of hugs and touches. I happen to know that he is pretty dang straight, and while he is attractive, I don’t feel that way about him anyway. We’ve known each other for over 25 years; it would just be weird at this point.

I told my daughter that, and she seemed disappointed, so I admitted to her that “there is this one guy–“

She cut me off, eyes lighting up, with “I KNEW IT!!!”

I had to slow her roll before she could text her best friend about this. The guy I’m referring to, we’ve never done anything more than hug, and I did have my hands on his back and shoulders while he was naked one time — we were about to do a scene together, but my then-wife texted me to tell me our dog was sick and she was worried and could I please come home from the play party? So I did, and I missed out on that opportunity. I don’t think this guy and I would have had sex, but I’m pretty sure I would have touched his penis at some point as part of the scene (he had previously consented to this). Who knows? Maybe that would have led to more.

With this particular guy, I’m not opposed to more happening. I like him a lot; he’s kind and funny and easy on the eyes. I’ve told him how I feel, and if I’m remembering correctly he reciprocates the interest, but we just haven’t had the opportunity to see what might happen. Maybe we will someday; maybe we won’t. I truly don’t know.

The fun part of the story, though, is just how excited my daughter got when she thought I’d had a same-sex experience. She was both blown away and vindicated (in her mind). And, honestly, I don’t care if she knows I’ve done something with a guy (if that had indeed happened). We’re open with each other about a lot of things. Of course there are things we don’t talk about (like, for example, the night of this dinner, about an hour and a half prior, while my daughter was still at school, Partner 1 and I were having loud sex that ended with me coming on her face), but relationships… that we share. She’s happy to hear that I’m happy with my partners, and when she’s happy with her partner (he’s long-distance right now and she doesn’t admit they’re dating, but they’re totally dating) I’m happy that she’s happy.

Anyway… if being interested in one guy makes me officially bisexual, then I guess I’m bisexual. Fine with me. I like spanking (and being spanked by) men; why shouldn’t I be open to doing more? Maybe someday I’ll find out what that’s like, and if I don’t like it, I won’t do it again. But I’m on board with giving it a shot.