One of the most common questions I see online in kink communities is “can you help me find a kink-friendly therapist?” To which I usually say: “most therapists are kink-friendly, even if they’re not kinky.” At least, that’s been my experience with the various therapists I’ve been seeing since 2008 or so.

But what if you’re a therapist who is kinky? First of all, you’re going to be kink-friendly, but secondly, how will you go out and do stuff in the community? What is the ethical responsibility of a therapist when they go to a munch and there’s one of their patients there? Does the therapist immediately have to leave? I mean, I know you’re not supposed to be friends with your therapist, and at the last two therapists’ offices I went to they were very clear that if your therapist sees you out and about they will not acknowledge you to preserve your privacy.

I can’t imagine there are no kinky therapists, though. I can’t imagine there aren’t at least a few who enjoy being tied up, or spanked, or called Daddy or little one or something similar. How do they interact with their local community? Or do they just have to give up on that and only interact outside of it? Would a spanko therapist in Dallas not be able to go to TASSP or Lone Star? Or any spanking party at all, since many of them have the same attendees across the US? What if you’re a therapist who’s super into decorative rope and exhibitionism; can you not go to your local dungeon and get tied up?

Ethics exist for a reason. But sometimes they raise more questions than they answer, and the questions can be confusing — or even frustrating. Some questions are easy to answer: don’t date your therapist. But others aren’t: what if my therapist comes up to me at a spanking party because they’ve heard I’m a good spanker and they want to experience it? Or, hell, what if they’re even in the same room as me while they’re getting spanked?

I guess the best thing to do if you’re a therapist is just not be kinky. Easier said than done, though.

If you’re a kinky therapist, I’d love to hear how this sort of thing should be handled.