From October 2021 through May 2022, I had a local partner who eventually I had to break up with because she was making me feel like my first wife had done. That was the last thing I wanted in a relationship, and even though I knew it would hurt her, I had to end things. She was very angry about it — I think she was in love with me, even though I was not in love with her. I also think that she was hoping I would “rescue” her from the non-optimal living situation she was in. I could tell it was only a matter of time until she asked to move in with me, and because I’m generally a nice person, I wouldn’t have been able to think of a way to say no. Then I’d have been stuck with her, and she would have ruined my relationships with Partner 1 and Partner 2 (especially since she hated Partner 1).

At the most recent event at The Farm, I was having a conversation when I saw someone I recognized out of the corner of my eye. I said hello, went back to my conversation, and then realized it was this particular ex.

Oh, shit.

Look, I have nothing against this particular ex. I hope she finds happiness. But we were both quite surprised to see each other, and on top of that we kept seeing each other. I saw her when I went to do my first scene, and when I did my second, up in the loft, she was sitting at the bottom of the stairs and I know she knew I was up there with Partner 1. We all had to walk past her when we finished our scene, and I walked past her again when I went back into the dungeon to get the bag that we’d almost forgotten.

She gave me so many glares. At least, to me they looked like glares. Maybe I was reading too much into things.

That’s part of the problem with breaking up with someone in the local kink community: you still have to see them at events. You can’t just divvy up munches and play parties. When my second wife and I divorced, we didn’t have any such agreements; she stopped going to the munches we used to attend together, but that was her choice. I would never have told her not to come. Of course, that relationship ended much more amicably — although these days I think she’s about done with me in general. (At least she didn’t unfriend me on Facebook so I still get to see pictures of her dog, who used to be our dog.) The ex I saw at The Farm doesn’t drive, so it was harder for her to go to munches, but she went to a few with me, and a few play parties as well.

I don’t bear this ex any ill will. I just don’t want to be around her, because I don’t want to be reminded of how she made me feel. However, if she starts coming out to more events and munches, I guess I’m going to have to deal with it. Maybe at some point we’ll have a discussion.

But I doubt it.

And I hope I’m right about that.