I was recently in bed with one of my partners, enjoying a post-coital chill, and we were talking about… honestly, I don’t remember what we were talking about… but somehow the thought of penises going in places they weren’t supposed to came up in conversation. I was reminded of an image I’d reblogged on one of my old Tumblrs ages ago, and I wanted to show it to her, but a search on my phone found nothing.

Thankfully, a couple of days later I had nothing to do, so I went through literally thousands of images in my Tumblr backup folder until I found this:

(A woman with a pierced tongue makes a funny face as a large penis attempts to poke into her nostril. Photo credit: JJAM.)

That’s the picture I was talking about.

I also found a bonus “that is NOT where that goes” picture while searching:

(A blond woman in a purple fishnet top attempts to shove a penis into her right nostril while making a pained face. Photo credit unknown.)

Look, I don’t care how big your nostrils are — that isn’t going to fit in there. And if you’re trying to get him to come up your nose, well… I guess you like burning sensations in your sinuses? Maybe you’re mistaking what a Netipot is for? Damned if I know. I mean, I’ve hit people in the nose with my come, but I’ve never intentionally shot it up there.

Anyway, these pictures were funny to me. Your mileage may vary.