A Squid in the Mouth

“Squid in the mouth” is a writing term that means “the author is making a joke that is funny only to the author, and no one else gets it or appreciates it”. It is one of my biggest writing flaws, because ultimately I write for myself, so I make jokes and references that I’ll like or appreciate.

It also means sometimes I’ll write something that just comes out silly-sounding. Like this bit from a never-to-be-published sequel to “Reunion”, in Baker’s Dozen:

Moments after I got out of the shower, Allison treated me to one of the most spectacular blowjobs I’d ever received.  Then we both dressed; I put on the football game, and she called a friend of hers – they were supposed to go to the mall today.

When Tina arrived, Allison asked her to wait with me a moment while she went to put her shoes on.  The moment we heard the bedroom door close, Tina gave me a dirty look.  “Do you have to fuck her ass before every time we go out?”

I was drinking from a bottle of water, and it took a superhuman effort not to spray it all over myself.  “Excuse me?”

“Like I couldn’t tell from the way she was walking.  I walk like that sometimes too, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“Not really.”  I actually had, but better to hold my tongue.  The relaxation blanket that sex drapes on me does wonders for my discretion and tact.

“Never mind.  I’ll ask her.”

“You do that.”

###

We had sex that night, Allison and me, gently and lovingly.  Afterward, she said, “Tina chastised me for taking it in the ass again.”

“Did she?”

“I know she mentioned it to you,” she said, snuggling up against me.  “If you want to spank me for it tomorrow morning, you can.  I’m going to bed.”

I kissed the top of her head.  “One of us ought to spank her for bringing it up.”

Allison was drifting off to sleep quickly.  “Did that,” she mumbled against my shoulder.

“What?”

But she was gone, breathing softly and regularly.

I toyed briefly with waking her up to ask her if I heard that right, but decided against it.

There’s always tomorrow.

See? Silly. But when I wrote it I thought it was awesome. Really, though, it’s just another squid in the mouth.

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