When you don’t live with a partner — no matter how many partners you have — there is a tendency to overplan what you’re going to do when you are together.

I have plans to see one of my partners on Halloween. We’ll only have about six hours together, and we’ve already planned to do a lot together: cuddles, dog pets, dinner, butt plugs, vibrators, spankings, canes, oral sex, making videos…

How are we going to fit all of that into six hours?

I’m sure some things will fall by the wayside — probably the “making videos” part, and maybe the canes. This almost always happens with partners I don’t see often. We’re so excited to see each other that we want to cram as much as humanly possible into the time we do have.

The same thing used to happen to me at Frolicon — I’d overplan and try to go to as many classes as I could while also making time to teach my own classes. I’ve since learned that sometimes it’s better to go for quality over quantity. And that’s what I think should happen when you see your partners: go for quality over quantity.

The longer you’re apart, the more you want to do. Resisting the urge is hard. But if you focus on a few things and do them to the fullest, it’s better in a lot of ways than trying to do everything and not really enjoying any of it.