A few years ago, I went with a spanko friend of mine to a used sporting-goods store to pick up a couple of baseball bats for kinky play. I was quite surprised when I got there to also find a cricket bat.

I mean, come on, a spanko, seeing something like that? I had to buy it. And I got it fairly cheaply.

Last weekend I got to use it for the first time in a long time, and boy was it fun.

I like paddles. I like giving paddlings. The cricket bat is shaped more or less like a paddle. Makes perfect sense, right?

Except that the cricket bat is way heavier than any paddle I own, so not only do I have to measure more carefully how hard I swing it, but I also have to be careful how I swing it so that I don’t miss the target.

However, once I got the distance and aim right, I was able to swing the bat with both hands, and put my hips into the swing, and WHAP!

It was awesome. (Maybe not so much for the person I was playing with, but it was awesome for me.)

As usual, a brief discussion on safety: heavy-duty implements require practice and testing, as well as good aim. I recommend a body pillow as a test target — you can bend it over the bed or the couch and spank it, and if you miss you won’t do any damage. Also, with gigantic implements, be very careful when playing with people who have smaller butts — aim low, but not too low. You don’t want to break anyone’s legs. The sit-spots are a perfect target.

Oh, and about those baseball bats… I never did do that scene with them that I was planning to do. The play partner I was going to play with talked to me beforehand and said she was not comfortable doing a scene of that intensity with me, and of course I told her that was perfectly fine. We never did end up playing at all, and that’s okay. They’re still in a bag under my bed (the bats, not the person), and maybe someday I’ll use them, but the cricket bat is more fun so I’ll probably just stick to that.