About that paperback…

Lessons technically releases tomorrow, and you can pre-order your e-book if you like. But, if you prefer a paperback to an e-book, you can order one now and it’ll get delivered… in a few days, I guess? Amazon has to print the books before they can ship them.

And now, a random thought about jealousy:

Jealousy is weird.

Let me explain. (No. There is too much. Let me sum up.) I try to stay friends with my exes (my first wife notwithstanding), and it helps because usually we don’t break up messily or angrily. The last two relationships I was in that ended both ended with calm, reasoned discussion about how or why they weren’t working. But yesterday one of those two exes posted on Fetlife that she’s looking for a sadist (which I am), and the other posted on Twitter about how she was visiting her new-ish dom (which I wanted to be). And I’m jealous.

Or maybe envious. I’m not exactly sure which one applies here.

Anyway, I have no right to be jealous (or envious) — I’m not in a relationship with either of these people anymore. They can do what they want. But sense and sensibility have little room in my head when it comes to past relationships. Hell, I’m still jealous of my second wife’s new partner (mostly because I still miss her, even though we ended things amicably and, for the most part, mutually). I suppose if I cut them all out of my life I’d be less consumed with these feelings, but they’re my friends. I don’t want to cut them out.

So I have to deal with my jealousy and envy. They’re not parts of myself that I particularly like. But they exist.

And they’re weird.

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