I have spanked people of all shapes and sizes. Some have been skinny, some have been fat; some have been short, some have been tall; some have been conventionally beautiful, some lack those features. But I’ve never turned someone down for a spanking because they were overweight.

That Girl Marie has a great post called “So you’re fat and wanna get spanked”. In it, she says:

Many people in fat bodies think they’re going to struggle to find play partners and I won’t lie and say the spanking community is perfect in this regard, but like I said in my newbie post, if you’re struggling to find someone to play with you, it is far more likely to do with personality and approach, than appearance, unless you’re unhygienic. 

As a person of size, I can say that the spanking community — and the BDSM community in general, at least where I live — I haven’t found my size to be a real barrier to getting play. For me the barrier is more related to my own anxiety. You’re not going to play with someone if you don’t ask them, after all.

There was a woman at TASSP who I’ve known for several years and I wanted to spank her. Unfortunately, I couldn’t work up the courage to ask — every time I got close to doing so, the topic of conversation would change and it wouldn’t be the right time. After all, when someone is talking about (for example) problems they have at work, that is not the right time to bust in and say “hey, want a spanking?” Of course, sometimes when I do overcome my anxiety I get turned down — either explicitly (“no, thank you”) or implicitly (“not right now”/”maybe later”). Unlike a lot of people who see the latter as an invitation to ask to play again, I simply say “okay, cool, well I’ll be around, so if you’d like to do a scene, come find me.” And then I don’t ask them again — unless it’s someone I have a prior spanking relationship with, in which case I might say “okay, cool, I’ll check in with you in a bit.”

I don’t think my size is usually the reason people turn me down, though. Maybe it’s because they don’t know me well enough; maybe it’s because they’re on their way to play with someone else; maybe it’s because they just got spanked and need some cool-down time. I think I have been turned down because I’m not one of the better-known spankers on the party circuit (despite running my own fairly large spanking party); there are some folks who do not lack for willing bottoms, and at least one of them is actually a really nice dude. (There’s another one I don’t particularly care for, but he’s not, like, an asshole or anything.)

But when I do get my hands on someone, be they large or small, there are no complaints. I pride myself on giving good, traditional-style hand spankings — swat the left, swat the right, repeat until results achieved. There are people who do multiple or quick smacks, or use different techniques; I am not one of those people. I certainly can do those things, but that’s not how I like to spank. I think, though, most bottoms are on board with a traditional-style hand spanking.

The spanking community is very accepting, on the whole. It took a while to get to this point, and I like to think that GASP really led the way in bringing in more trans/nonbinary/nontraditionally-gendered folks to the party scene. In the real world, discrimination due to weight still happens. But in the spanko world, I don’t care if you weigh 100 pounds or 300 pounds; if you interest me and we have a good rapport, I’m likely to be willing to spank you.