(This post was written on 12/21.)

Natalie is sleeping over on New Year’s night, and she told me today that she was bringing her strapless strap-on along with her. As I’ve posted before, I do enjoy being pegged, and from what I’m told this particular toy is quite substantial, which makes me happy — I’ve been pegged with smaller toys and while it feels nice it’s not the same as with a bigger one. I guess that makes me a size queen?

However, there’s always the chance that my butt will say “nope, no butt stuff for you today, ha ha ha!” I hope that’s not what happens, but it’s always a possibility. It would be disappointing, but (a) it wouldn’t mean I still couldn’t do other super-fun stuff with her and (b) it doesn’t mean we can’t try it some other time. And of course there’s always the chance that maybe her butt will say no and we won’t be able to do butt stuff with her as the recipient either. (It hasn’t said no yet, but it certainly has permission to do so.)

Sometimes your body just doesn’t want to do what you want it to do. Sometimes (well, more than half the time) I can’t orgasm during intercourse. Sometimes I can’t be on top. Sometimes my partner is too tight or too small to take me in her ass, and sometimes I just can’t get hard enough to get in. There are days when I just know that, if someone offered to fuck my ass, I’d have to decline. Fortunately that didn’t happen the last time I was offered pegging, but it’s always a possibility.

Disappointment sucks. I get that. I’ve been ghosted; I’ve been cancelled on; I’ve gotten to a play party and been told “I don’t think I can play with you tonight” for a reason that I think doesn’t make sense (but it doesn’t have to make sense to me; it only had to make sense to my partner — and of course I accepted her decision with grace because it’s her body and she gets to choose who hits it). If my butt says no on New Year’s night, I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll try not to let it upset me too much, because I’m still getting to spend a night with a wonderful person. Just because my butt says no doesn’t mean the whole night is ruined.

Sometimes, your butt says no. If that happens to you, just accept it, process the disappointment, and move on. Do something else instead. You can still both give and receive plenty of pleasure. Trust me on this.