Some years ago, I was at Walmart and came across a set of wooden cooking implements for $4 — a spoon and a spatula.

I’d tried several wooden spoons before, and they’d broken, or been ineffective, or just hadn’t felt right. But the wooden spoon in this set was perfect, and has never broken, and has bruised many a bottom. It’s also been used on my ass, during a role-play scene, and it hurt so much that I almost slid off the bed, out of my partner’s grip.

But what I love best about it is that it leaves “sunbursts” — little white circular marks that quickly fill in and become bright red and purple bruises. That’s what happened when I used it on Ann recently — of course I warmed her up first, but I wanted to give her some swats that had some bite, so after some paddling and flogging I switched to the spoon.

To my surprise, she adored it. Most people I spank with it are not big fans, but Ann was, to the point that she (if I remember correctly) asked for more. That never happens.

With her permission, here’s the results of those wooden spoon swats:

The next morning the bruises were turning purple, much to both our delight. (Delights?)

We’ll be doing this again. You can count on it.