I find that polyamory is a feast-or-famine situation most of the time. For over a year, I famined; now I’m feasting. I have two romantic partners (well, I’m interested in being romantic with them, and I’m pretty sure they’re interested back), one regular play partner, one semi-regular play partner, and a few occasional play partners.
I try to see the first three at least once a week. If possible I like to see them twice. Problem is, there’s only so much one person can take when they’re an introvert — which I am. I like my alone time, and I like my quiet time. I find it relaxing when I’m just hanging out with one person, watching TV or reading, but it’s even more relaxing in some ways to not have to people at all.
Last week I had three sleepovers in a row, one night off, a fourth sleepover, and then a Christmas party. I was also invited to a play party but I begged off of it this time around. By the time the third sleepover hit, I was exhausted. Not tired-exhausted — mentally exhausted. I had been peopling quite a lot and hadn’t had my alone time (even though with each person in the first three nights I did just sit and watch TV or a movie for an hour or two). I just feel like I didn’t give the third person the right amount of myself because I was so exhausted.
I guess I need to give myself time off.
This whole feasting thing is new to me — the last time I had this many regular partners (play and romantic) my situation was quite different, and I was also eight years younger. I hate to say it, but I’m getting old. I need time to recharge. Last week I overplanned and I paid for it, but it was my first time trying to fit everyone into one week like this.
Next time I’ll try doing two sleepovers, and then a night off. Maybe that’ll work out better. I’ve already started planning for next week, and I’ve put “FREE NIGHT” on my calendar between already-set sleepovers. Just to be safe.
Maybe this is frenzy. Maybe this is feasting. Maybe this is just the universe saying “y’know what? You’ve had enough relationship troubles. Here’s some good stuff for you for once.”
I’ll take it.